It seems Trump Judges are tired of being seen as ridiculous hacks, Mike Lindell’s Trump Judge Edition!

Last week, the FBI seized Pillow Fluffer’s Mike Lindell’s cell phone at a Hardee’s drive-through in Mankato, Minnesota. Either that or all of the wine we drank to overcome the Trump administration is finally catching up with us.

Either way, the pillow man won’t take it lying down! Even if he ever gets off, he’ll at least have a place to rest his crazy head. After stopping by the Steve Bannon podcast to scream into the ether that the FBI is now the Gestapo, Lindell called his crackerjack legal team to see what could be done about it.

Lindell’s Brain Trust is comprised of: Minnesota attorney Andrew Parker, who represents Lindell in his pending January 6 House Select Committee case; Big Lie attorney Kurt Olsen, who was stripped of personality from his New York firm for his role in Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s effort to persuade the Supreme Court to reject election votes from seven swinging states, and has spamming the DOJ leadership in an attempt to persuade them to sign a similar complaint; and Alan Dershowitz.

So you know this shit is going to be AMAZING.

On Tuesday, the team sued Attorney General Merrick Garland in the Minnesota federal court demanding that the court find the government violated Lindell’s First, Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Amendment rights. In his account, the FBI was just trying to suppress his First Amendment right to spend all his time and money on a very public mental breakdown centered on the illusion that the 2020 election was stolen by Chinese agents via Bluetooth thermostats. and “packet capture”. He also believes that the agents must have put a tracking device on his car, because how else could they have tracked him down from Hardee’s, HMMM?

Yesterday the dream team filed an emergency motion for a temporary restraining order that was just as compelling as the original complaint.

Mr. Lindell’s efforts to expose and raise awareness of election fraud and the inherent dangers posed to our elections and our Republic by the use of black box computerized voting machines are well known to the government. The purpose of Mr. Lindell’s cell phone search and seizure warrant was not just to access an immense amount of data collected on that cell phone, including attorney-client communications and communications with other people who are protected by the First Amendment. , but also to send a message to others so that they do not express themselves on these issues.

They also claim that prosecutors must have violated the law by failing to inform the magistrate judge who issued the warrant of all of Lindell’s sacred work trying to “uphold” the integrity of the US election. There is no citation for any of these, so let’s assume they come from the receptors in Lindell’s fillings.

His lawyers also hooked up a copy of the warrant, which we won’t connect to, as he didn’t black out his cell phone number or the last four digits of his social security number. Fucking galactic brains!

Lindell complained to Bannon that agents questioned him about Tina Peters, the Colorado polling officer currently under indictment after generating a government ID for a hiring contract and then using it to sneak into a professional surfer. turned into election truth to copy his county’s Dominion voting machines and watch a tight upgrade from company staff. Lindell was reported to have hid Peters in a shelter prior to her arrest and at times claimed to have contributed $ 800,000 to Peters’ legal defense, but this week she told The New York Times that she had spoken badly. “So I was funding everything,” he said. “I thought I had financed her too.”

In his complaint, he screamed that the agents did not target him during this discussion, but, as the warrant makes clear, they were looking for documents or electronic documents relating to Peters and his cheating. This probably means that the alleged interrogation was less of a custody interrogation than a means of serving the warrant. Either way, our Mike won’t make them look too difficult, since he hooked up a couple of documents purporting to be forensic analysis of Mesa County voting machines. Presumably this would have been just proof of the breach the agents were looking for, so … good job guys.

If the plan was to show Trump-appointed U.S. District Judge Eric Tostrud that Lindell is on the side of the angels and is therefore immune to federal rules of civil and criminal procedure, then he appears to have missed the mark. Great.

“The applicants’ request for an ex parte temporary restraining order instructing Defendants to refrain from accessing or taking any action in relation to the seized cell phone until a hearing on that aspect of their motion to request a preliminary injunction will be rejected for three reasons, “Judge Tostrud wrote today. And these three reasons are that Lindell and her attorneys are damned idiots and this is not Fort Pierce, Florida, home of United States District Judge Aileen Cannon.

Well, okay, he didn’t put it on Exactly how’s that. But more or less.

Although plaintiffs cite Federal Criminal Procedure Rule 41 (g) as the basis for their motion, plaintiffs do not argue the rule or cite any authority that could explain why cell phone return is appropriate under the rule. To be clear, Plaintiffs cite Rule 41 (g) in their Motion and in the caption and introductory paragraph of their Memorandum. But that’s all.

Rule 41 (g) is not mentioned in the rest of the plaintiffs’ 18-page memorandum. Pls see in general. ‘ mem. in sup. [ECF No. 10]. In the absence of an obvious answer that rule 41 (g) requires the return of the cell phone, it would be an effort to grant relief under this rule when the moving parts nowhere explain how the rule’s procedural framework and substantive standards support. the request.

(3) It is not obvious whether Rule 41 (g) requires the return of the mobile phone, and that is an understatement.


Put simply, Judge Tostrud said that while Judge Cannon may be willing to correct a deficient facial plea and magical realism in the jurisdiction over something that has no business hearing, she has no interest in being absolutely anxious about it. ‘Eighth Circuit. So unless these idiots can come up with more than DEEP STATE MURDERS PILLOW FREAK WITH WARRANT, they will be out of luck.

Oh, 2022, you are so crazy!


[Lindell v. USA]

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